There could be more than one reason for this that you are experiencing.
Its not unusual to see the male chasing the female, – this I gather is a way for him to inspire her, or test whether she is ready for mating again. And of course sometimes she is not, and sometimes this ‘chasing’ looks rather hard for the female. I have also at times been worried.
But I have never experienced that it had fatal concequenses, – I do however really believe, that – as you say with most labyrints, – you need to provide the female with options that she can withdraw somewhere. It sounds like you have.
When you report that the female is ‘pale’ – well, that could actually be a sign that she is getting ready to spawn, and that the whole thing is just really normal courting behaviour.
Your male also – it sounds like he is just really eager, –
Of course, there are also couples that does not really make good couples, and where you might see the male attempting like this again and again in wain, – but again, – it may look hard, but I have never seen it be fatal.
The less good scenario, which could happen is that you actually accidentially had two males, one sub-dominant and not showing colours, – so that you might have thought it to be a female. In that case the male agression can be serious, though I would never compare them to other labyrintfishes, – the agression is more showing off, but you will see that of course.